


Shaky Ground

by your_cringy_father



Category: The Haunting of Hill House (TV 2018)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Bisexual Character, Childhood Trauma, F/F, Gen, Haunting of hill house, Hill House, Listen i know its like 2019 but leave me be im emotional over this show, We Don't Deserve Luke Crain 2k19, bisexual steven crain, hohh, lesbian theo, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-14 22:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20608175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_cringy_father/pseuds/your_cringy_father
Summary: Consider; Steven Crain but his mom was abusive and he has to deal with the fallout of telling the others who don't remember their mom being like that at all.Also: Theo is the best sister





	Shaky Ground

Steven wasn’t sure his mom had ever laid a hand on him. 

Theo can attest to a time where she was spanked, but it was only one time. She assured them all, it never happened again. Their mom just wasn’t that type. Never the type to physically raise a hand. 

Though, Steven was sure that she never had to.   
There weren’t any words for it at the time, especially from a mother to a young boy, but the general census for it later on was ‘emotional abuse’. And though he spent most of his years denying the probability (He recognized, later in therapy, how ironic that was. Obsessing over the mental illness running in the family yet never seeing his own. He was suppressing it all so hard, a shriveling fact he learned in therapy.) 

He realized later in his years, brushing over the contents of his own books and tracing his fingers along the detailed line of ink, describing an event marked not but a week before the final night;   
“Steve?” She called, her voice carrying above the tell-tale sound of construction. I turned, grinning. Her tone was light and airy, reminding me of the good moods she brought with her in the beginning of their summer escapade. She was in a good mood, as Theo would describe it. 

“Yes, mom?” I called back, weaving through the bodies to see her standing on the staircase platform. I felt my throat close up on instinct. What her voice showed is not what her pose proved. Her eyes were hardened and stone. “...Yes, mom?” I repeated again, lowering my voice to a wavering sputter. 

“Can you explain this?” She hissed, sliding to the left and revealing a broken lamp. Baby blue, with a white shade. It was my lamp. The lamp from my room. Now sitting in shattered pieces on the floor. 

“Wh- I didn’t do that!” 

“Who else would it be, young man?” 

“I-I don’t know but I know I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have-” 

“Don’t bother!” She screeched, drawing the attention of nearby workers. She pinched the bridge of her nose and scowled, “Look what you’ve made me do,” She whispered icily, “You’re embarrassing the family with this arduous behavior!” 

“Behavior-?” 

“Last week it was the chalk, then Theo’s room was a mess, I found the baseball bat young man you can’t--” 

“Mom, I swear I didn’t!” 

“Why do you keep LYING to me!” She screeched, stomping her foot. I crumpled up, hugging my sides. 

Looking back, I knew the culprit to be the ghosts of the house, angry spirits attempting to drive a wedge between our family. She was certain to make sure everyone in the house that night heard of my mistakes, of my failures. It wasn’t until my father stepped in, that she left the ordeal. Next day, it was back to loving hugs and careful touches. It was like she was never mad. -- '

Steven stopped, his grip on the book tight. Was that normal? He had asked Leigh about it before, and it didn’t seem to be present in HER childhood.   
Maybe… maybe this was something he should look into. 

Many days later, Steven came to the realization that this wasn’t normal. This wasn’t how his childhood was supposed to be. Not like it was normal in the first place, but the idea that things were well and done fucked before that night shook him to his core. 

Then, it all started bubbling out. Almost every night since his realization, his mind had considered his position to be safe enough to process his trauma, and nightmares plagued the night. It was nights like these where he really missed Leigh. But she had left him long ago. 

Stuck alone in his apartment, the shadows and words his mother was stuck far longer than he guessed they would have if someone was with him. 

A year after his dad died, a year after Nell had died, how would they have reacted? Would they have believed him? Even after their love for her? That… woman? 

The question kept him up at night. And he needed answers.   
But answers can’t be given by people who can’t talk. 

He tried to tell Shirley. Generally, she was busy, but over the next weeks he attempted to get a one on one conversation. Ask if she remembered any of it. If their mom hurt anyone else like that.   
From the look Shirley gave him, Steven quickly guessed the answer was no and dropped the subject. 

Theo was the first one who actually gave him an answer. Theo was well versed in the ins and outs of abuse, and when Steven told her what had happened, the long pause afterwards was well-appreciated. He didn’t even realize her hands, placed strategically on his knee, weren’t gloved until Theo pulled back with a slight whimper and a hand to her mouth. 

“I’m sorry, I know I don’t do this anymore, but I needed to know… just in case…” She let out quick, folding her hands in her lap.

His stomach lurched, Steven had forgotten about her specialty. He chewed his lip, but decided to let it pass after a moment of broad frustration pressed on his temples. “Forget about it. What did you… see? What did you feel?”

Theo said nothing, but pressed a hand to his cheek and nodded, “I believe you. I’m so… so sorry. I thought maybe I was the only one in this fucked up family with trauma,” He gave her a sharp look, “A trauma of this kind.” She corrected.

“We’ll get through this together if you want. I can try to turn Shirley around too.” She said, shrugging. “I know this is scary and the last thing you probably want is your little sister taking care of you right now but,” She shifts, uncomfortable, “You really helped me and my wife during a lot of rough patches. Even if you were kind of shitty during them. Someone who’d let me dish on Shirley was worth it, to a point.” Theo added. 

Steven’s mouth flickers a smile, “I try.” 

“Fuck off.” She snorts, shoving Steven a small bit. And in return, he laughed. Genuine, this time. 

Her hand hit his, and she sat straight up, glancing wildly at Steven, who blanched. Oh no. 

“You’re gay?” 

“Bi-” 

“Oh my god, two of the Crain kids- can you imagine the headlines-”

“Theo.” 

“I know what I saw Stevie,” She grinned mischievously, “He’s cute, where’d you meet him, hm? Not a lot of social media we can go on. Did you catfish?”  
“No!” Steven cried indignantly. His face burned red at the thought of his extremely lesbian sister seeing a pretty vulnerable moment he had with a certain suiter recently. Ever since the realization that maybe his mom was wrong this whole time, he began questioning many other things. And maybe one of those was his sexuality, and maybe he decided to test it out with the cute guy from the editing company that was kind enough to help him publish his books, and maybe treat him to longing looks at his backside. And maybe it went well. Not like he was about to tell anyone that, especially not Theo, his little sister.

Her grin turned cat-like, “Nellie called it.” And the two laughed at the thought of their sister throwing up a victorious fist. Maybe even now she was checking how much the rest of their siblings owed her. 

“Don’t be weird about this, Theo.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it. That being said; When are we gonna meet him?” 

“If I had my choice, never. But he said he wanted to at least see you guys before we made things really official so-”

“You’re making things official?!” She screeched, smiling lighting up her eyes. Goddammit, she was gonna tell her wife about all of this wasn’t she? 

“Yes- just, can we talk about this later?” He pleaded, burying his hand in the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

“Of course… but spill the tea- alright?” 

“Okay, dork.” 

A comfortable silence settled between the siblings, Theo resting her head on his shoulder. 

While their childhood hadn’t been so intertwined, since Nellie… well, since Nellie, the two have grown closer. Two bitter old fucks, done with the world and how badly it treats its inhabitants. The opposite had happened to him and Luke. Ever since his drug addiction and recovery, the two had been keeping a far distance. God forbid, Steven fuck up what Luke had worked so hard for; his sobriety.

But push came to shove and as time dribbled down the gutters of Luke’s newly rented condo and pooled beneath Stevens shoes, he knew he had to do something. After what seemed like an eternity, he lifted his hand and knocked twice on the door. 

The door immediately swung open, showing a rather desperate face of Luke. “I thought you’d never knock.” Luke admitted, “ I was kind of standing there for awhile.”   
“Why didn’t you just open it?”   
“You seemed really conflicted. I didn’t wanna,” He shrugs, “I dunno. Push a decision on you.”   
Steven’s stomach flipped. This was the man he was preventing Luke from becoming. All those years paying for his destructive drug habit, shitting on every recovery he started. He clenched his jaw. Focus, Crain.   
“I have something to tell you.” 

The news went over better than he had expected. Maybe Luke had seen more than Steven initially thought. Maybe he had experienced more than Steven thought. Both could be equally true but god knows he’d never know the answer. This felt like something Luke had already passed in his road to recovery. A long passed road sign that Steven was just seeing on the horizon.   
“Mom was… always like that, I guess.” 

“I don’t know why she never acted that way with anyone else.” Steven confessed, “I asked Shirley about it and she looked like she was going to rip my head off. Theo was maybe in the grey area, and we can’t ask Nellie--” He stopped himself. He let out a huff before continuing.

“I just, I think maybe it was me. Something I did differently, maybe it was because I reminded her of Grandfather I--.”  
Luke, all the sudden, pressed his hands firmly on Steven’s shoulders and turned him like clockwork to face the younger brother. 

“Don’t go down that road, Stevie. Come back.” He signaled with one hand the soothing up and down movement that usually signals slowed breathing. Steven hadn’t even noticed how fast his breaths had gotten. 

He slowed, and the lull reminded Luke to continue, “I can’t tell you why mom did anything she did. No one can. Not anymore. All that matters is that you know it wasn’t your fault. Mom was…something was wrong. Not just the house, Stevie, before that. Something hurt her a long time ago and instead of doing the healthy thing, she took it out on people around her. That’s not your fault, it’s her’s.” Luke gripped the side of his neck reassuringly and shook it softly. 

Steven tried to say something, but he knew the second he did, he would just get choked up. 

He couldn’t do that, especially in front of his baby brother. 

“I know you want to protect yourself to keep us safe right now, but put yourself first. I appreciate you coming by to tell me about this, prepare me, but you should do something for yourself first. Therapy, I dunno. Whatever healthily gets you through it.” He said, and Steven numbly shook his head in agreement. 

He hated this.   
It was healthy, telling his family about this.   
Even if it wasn’t for himself and definitely avoiding confronting it with medical professionals. 

It was good for him to do this, but it hurt so much. Steven felt at his weakest. 

But maybe that needed to happen. 

Luke sent him off with a warm cup of coffee and good intentions (as well as a promise to call him later the week so they can properly catch up), and Steven got back to his house with much work. Breaking things down to build them back up, and all of that. He turned over the thought and eventually hummed. 

Maybe he should try it.


End file.
